New Year's Resolution
Lindon's Keyboard - New Year's Resolution
So now you've said it.
January has arrived and in some way we all have made our New Year's Resolutions. For some people it comes in an outright declaration, for others it is a list of goals. I am sure many people will say that they haven't made any, but in a way I don't think that is true. We all approach the New Year with expectations, hopes and dreams. Granted we may not be resolved in our commitment to follow through, but that is not unlike most people’s "New Year Resolutions." In fact, sometimes these undeclared expectations are as influential as some clearly defined goals. Whatever form your New Year Resolutions take, the challenge is to make them come true.
Here are some ideas that might help you in coming up with some New Years Resolutions that you are likely to follow through on.
First I recommend that you write them all down. You are thinking them anyway, so write them down. It's the first step to moving them out of your head and into reality (you don't have to show them to anyone.) This needs to include the expectations or wishes you have that are not normally thought of in terms of New Year’s Resolutions. A simple way to do this is to divide your life up into categories such as family, health, career, money, friends, intimacy, etc. Keep in mind you are making no commitment yet to any of them, this is exploratory.
With each intention ask yourself "why do I want this? What will it do for me?" You are trying to see what the payoff is. Ask these questions two or three times and make a note of your answer. If you feel you can't answer the questions or that the benefit is inherent in the goal itself, then just move on to the next one. Often the answers will become much clearer as you progress.
Once you have your notes on the benefits done, look them over and see if any repetition or themes become apparent. You might find you have really one goal for the year and a long list on what you think is needed to achieve it. The good news is, you've found what it is you are looking for in the coming year and will be better able to focus your energy. On the other hand you might not find any one thing prevalent and that is fine.
Here are some questions and ideas that will help you detect something that might cause more harm than good.
Is it a goal or a complaint?
Sometimes we have a complaint about something and we communicate it by stating a goal. This can be a problem if it means we are not addressing issue itself. One way you can tell is the tone the goal takes on. If you think it or say it with a lot of attitude, then I would suggest you look to see if there is an issue that needs resolving in some fashion. An example might be if someone were to say, "My goal is to stop letting my boss make me feel like nothing I do is right." Taking a complaint and turning it into a goal is a useful tool but not if you carry the attitude forward with the goal. If in the end you feel that the goal might be "contaminated," mark it with a question mark and go on.
Is it in conflict with anything else on the list?
Read down the list, you might find that you have goals that might be in conflict with each other. Example: One goal says, "take time to balance my life with a variety of interest including more time for relaxing.” Then down the list you have "Open a small business as a second job." It's possible these two goals might be in some conflict with each other if you try to accomplish them within the same year. If you think there might be conflict, mark it with a capital C.
Will it cause conflict with someone important to you? If so mark it with a capital C. This is just to make sure we don't start the year at odds with the important people in our life.
Now that you have reviewed the list, you can narrow it down to the year's resolutions. I suggest that you leave out any on your list that are contaminated or could cause conflict. I'm not suggesting you give up on these, but I will say it is premature to make a commitment to accomplishing them. One way not to drop them out altogether is to make two lists. One list will be your New Year's Resolutions. The other list will be for you to improve on in the coming year. This should help keep your year from becoming over committed and over stressed.
To finish off the process simply take each item and write an intention for how it will be in one years time.
You now will have a list of New Year's Resolutions free of some pitfalls that can cause a good deal of trouble. For some of you this will be enough, for others, you'll want to start planning exactly how you are going to achieve them. Which ever is the case have a great year and we look forward to assisting you with your goals.
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